Should You Tell Him You Like Him?

Have you ever thought a guy you liked was interested in you, but at the same time you’ve felt super confused after your interactions with him? Yeah, me
too. I think it happens a lot, unfortunately. Here’s what one girl asked me recently:

I’m in so much emotional turmoil. I cry almost every day over whether he’s interested in me or not. I know it’s absolutely silly and I determine not to do it, but I can’t help how I feel. I don’t know if I should just end my turmoil by telling him how I feel and then let whatever happens happen. Is that acceptable or is that wrong to tell him I’m interested and let him accept or reject me? I’ve never believed in the woman pursuing the man, but he is okay with that. I just don’t know if this is an issue if I should tell him I am interested in him. Please help!

Here are a few questions I sent her in response. I pray they will also help you if and when you find yourself in a similar bind in the future:

  • What specifically leads you to believe this guy is interested in you?
  • Have you given your friendship enough time to develop naturally, or are you impatiently pushing for more (Prov. 19:2)? If this describes you, check out what these guys have to say in “Should a Guy Pursue a Girl Like a Dying Man Looking for Water in a Desert?
  • Have mature, wise adults in your life also noticed this guy’s special interest in you (Prov. 1:5)?
  • Are you aware of other girls who are confused by this guy’s interactions with them and who also wonder if he’s interested in them? If so, you may
    need to gently confront him about his unwise interactions with young women (Matt. 18:15).
  • If you put yourself out there and tell him you like him, how do you know your turmoil will end? What if he responds by telling you he’s not sure
    how he feels about you?
  • What do you think would be best for this guy at this point in his life? If he’s extremely busy, do you think he even has time for a committed
    relationship?
  • Can you trust God—and this guy—to open this conversation if and when it’s the right time (Ps. 25:3)?
  • Do you believe that if this guy is settled in both his feelings for you and in God’s blessing of your relationship that he will have the courage to
    tell you how he feels about you? If you’re not certain he has the guts to do this, is he really a man you could respect for life (Eph. 5:33)?
  • Imagine this guy doesn’t respond as you hope. Will telling him how you feel about him leave you feeling free and peaceful . . . or desperate and
    worthless?
  • What if, rather than pressing the issue with this guy, you changed your focus and began seeking and serving God wholeheartedly until He sends a guy who makes his intentions for you clear (1 Cor. 7:24)?

What do you think? Have you ever told a guy you liked him? How did things turn out? Do you think this girl should tell her crush that she likes him? Why or why not?

PS: For more on this topic, check out the post “Why Not Pursue Him?

About Author

Paula Marsteller

Paula no longer tries to catch guys' attention by swallowing live goldfish, arm wrestling, and jumping down flights of stairs. (She's married to a wonderful man now!) She spends her days caring for her son, Iren, and writing for Revive Our Hearts. She's the author of Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom, and she and her family live in New York. You can catch all her writing on PaulaWrites.com.

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