A Single Guy Answers Your Relationship Questions

Girls like knowing what guys think. Right? I know I do. Especially when the guy is single and striving to honor God with his life.

Well, I have something extra special for you today. I interviewed a young man who meets that description. He is single and living his life for Jesus. I asked him five different questions and wanted to hear his honest opinion on each topic. I was so encouraged and challenged by his answers, and I think you will be, too.

Q. What are some of the most important qualities you’re looking for in a future wife?

A. The first thing that I will be looking for is someone who fears and loves the Lord, and places Him first in her life. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” If a girl has put Christ first in her life, she’ll have the rest of her priorities in proper order and view them in the right perspective.

When a girl (or a guy for that matter) has a big view of God, problems will seem small in comparison. If her view of God is small, however, life’s problems will seem insurmountable.

Another quality I will be praying for is a girl who is respectful to her dad during her years of singleness. I currently know a girl who thinks that her father is obnoxious. I also know a different young lady who can’t stop talking about how amazing her dad is. The comparison between the two girls is drastic!

Honestly, it’s depressing to be with the girl who acts like her dad is a burden, but refreshing to be with my friend who loves her dad! God has placed a young woman’s dad in her life during this time, and if she is unsatisfied with his authority now, it’s a possibility she will not be the godly wife God intended her to be.

Q. What advice would you give to a single girl who is preparing for marriage?

A. I would say this: Make sure you’re seeking the Lord in everything and place Him first in your life. There are a lot of distractions in this world: music, friends, movies . . . The list goes on and on. Some of these things might not be bad, but are they the best use of our time? As a guy, I ask myself this question all the time. If I don’t, I’ll get sidetracked and use the time God has given me for frivolous things instead of using it to accomplish God-honoring, purposeful things.

Another thing I would suggest is being careful with your relationships. Guard your heart in every relationship. An emotional attachment to a guy before you’re ready for marriage is definitely not a good thing. The possibility of you marrying the person whom you are involved with is small, and when you have a spouse these past relationships will only invade your marriage.

Finally, pray for both your dad and your future husband. I can’t stress the importance of this enough. I’m praying for my future wife, and I hope she’s praying for me as well.

Q. What do you find unattractive about a girl?

A. A girl who seeks everyone’s attention is unattractive to me. Not only does this show she is prideful, but that she will do anything to get attention. Whether it’s dressing provocatively, speaking more loudly than anyone around, or a handful of other things, constant attention grabbing is very unattractive to me.

As a guy, I find a girl who is humble and has a modest character more charming than one who is loud and obnoxious. This doesn’t mean you can’t be the life of the party—just don’t be the loud woman Folly (Prov. 9:13).

Q. Why do you think girls should dress modestly?

A. A girl should dress modestly because it honors both her future husband and the guys around her. Dressing modestly draws a guy’s eyes away from your body and to your face, where his attention should be directed anyway.

Our culture flaunts the idea that the more skin you show, the more guys will be drawn to you. However, a guy striving to follow Christ will appreciate a cute, modest outfit on a girl—and he can actually have a conversation with her without wondering where to place his eyes.

Dressing modestly also shows respect for your brothers in Christ who are around you, and for your future husband. If the Bible says to honor your husband, don’t you think one way to honor him would be by wearing clothes that don’t draw attention to your body? Your body is reserved for your future husband and nobody else.

Q. Why is a girl’s relationship with God important to you?

A. I was recently traveling with a wise friend and mentor of mine, who is also the president of a large ministry. He is constantly sharing bits of wisdom that he has learned over the years, both from life and from constant study of the Word of God. One evening, he surprised me by asking me what I’m looking for in a wife. After a brief pause, I named the first thing that came to mind—a quality in a woman that surpasses every other quality.

“I want the girl I marry to love the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength.” I was about to go on, when my friend stopped me. He said, “That’s it right there. You don’t need to go any farther. If you find a girl who loves the Lord with all her heart, soul, and mind, every other quality will fall into place.”

What wisdom! Am I expecting a girl who places God first in her life to be perfect? Of course not! We’re all sinners. But having a love for God that surpasses a love for anything or anyone else will make a girl stand out as she builds Christ-like qualities and matures into a God-fearing woman.

Godly Guys Still Exist!

I wanted to share this interview with you so that you could be encouraged. I want you to know that godly guys still do exist. God hasn’t given up on raising up godly men. God is still at work in the lives of men just like He’s at work in the lives of women.

I really encourage you to ponder this young man’s answers and evaluate your own heart before God.

Are there areas of your life that need to be surrendered to God?
Are you doing certain things that you know are not honoring toward God?
Do you need to spend more time investing into your relationship with Christ?

Tell us about it in the comment section below.

PS: For a list of questions you can ask the godly guys in your world, check out Monday’s post.

About Author

Bethany Baird

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog (www.GirlDefined.com) and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.
  • Emily Allen

    Hey there! I think this article is great! My one question is, what is the significance of praying for your dad while you are also praying for your future husband? I love my dad and he is just such an amazing role model for me and is a great father. I pray for both my parents all the time! But it sounds like you are suggesting tying prayer for your future husband to prayer for your dad, so I just wondered what that might look like. Thanks!
    Ps. Thanks for the encouragement that godly guys do still exist out there… I’m waiting for the right one because I know they do:)

  • Paige

    Thanks for the article! It’s nice to hear what the guys think every now and then. 🙂

    I know myself to be an attention grabber. It stinks, and I am praying for my attitude to change. “Just a closer walk with Thee: This, O Jesus, is my plea”.

  • Grace

    This is such a great post! It is so encouraging to hear that striving to be modest and pursuing God are things that guys hope for in their future wife. Thank you for this!!

  • Michaela

    This was a great post until it got to the modesty question. The reason that girls should dress modestly, first and foremost, is to honor the Lord and for to preserve their dignity. Respecting our brothers in Christ comes secondary to that. It places guilt upon women to suggest that men looking at their bodies instead of their faces is primarily on them when it is actually up to the men to have self-control.

    • Britts

      amen! I’m tired of this ”man centered” modesty, when its a God centered issue. Sick of the guilt trips as well.

    • Morgan

      True, I mean, it’s partly out of respect for men, but modesty should be mostly for the woman’s sake — protect her dignity and respectability.

  • Ginger

    Thanks SO much for the article, and for sharing that Godly guys still exist! Just a quick question. As i’m reading your article I can’t help but think “Oohh, so this is how you get a Godly guy to notice you?!” I feel like in order to get a Godly guy, I have to act like a specific type of girl. However, I feel like this thought is very wrong, because I feel like i’m using God’s purpose for me to be a Godly women, as a way to get the guys attention. Any comments on how to deal with this situation?

  • Leah

    “Your body is reserved for your future husband and nobody else.”

    I assume this was implied, but first and foremost, our bodies – male or female – are temples to the Lord, not just objects for our future spouses. Thinking of it this way should cause an even greater desire for us to care for them well and keep them holy than it would to merely think about future spouses. Actually, our bodies being reserved for our spouses is just another parallel between marriage and our relationship with Jesus as a church body. Kinda cool to look at things from a larger perspective than just earthly marriage 🙂

    • Britts

      I agree Leah. 🙂

      What she should of probably said was sex should be reserved for future husband only. It’s less gray.

  • Omolade Ogunruku

    This is like the best I have read this year. Thank you so much for this post.
    It really came at the right time for me.
    God still has Godly men on earth, and i will wait for mine.

  • ET

    Yes it’s important to respect our fathers and honor them, but can we all PLEASE remember that not everyone has a good dad? They all screw up, some bigger than others. Let’s remember that some ties are severed and things can’t be repaired. Just because a girl doesn’t see eye to eye with her biological father does NOT mean that she isn’t respectful of other father figures in her life or that she won’t make a “good wife.” Look at all sides of a situation before passing judgment.

    • ET

      And for the record, I wholeheartedly agree with the rest of this post. I think it’s great and it’s awesome to hear this guys thoughts.

      • Genevieve

        Good point! I’ll use my situation as an example: I use to have a pretty good relationship with my dad, I was always his “little princess”. That was until my dad started committing a continuous sin, with no repentance at all. I tried to go to him and talk to him about it, but every time I did he kind of just brushed it off. All my life I thought that he was the role model and a God fearing man, but all that crumbled and all I could see him as was a hypocrite who was destroying our family with his sin. I think that it’s really important to have a father figure in your life, my Grandpa has taken my dad’s role. It’s easy to fall into unhealthy relationships when your father isn’t around, because your looking for a man to fill that space. I pray that we as young women see our self worth and know that God loves us, HE’S our Heavenly Father.
        This is a great article:)

  • na90

    Some reflections on this interview, as a Christian girl. Please, note that I don’t want anybody to feel offended, this is just my point of view. Also my words may appear strong, but I’m not a native speaker so bear with me.

    “a girl who is respectful to her dad during her years of singleness. I
    currently know a girl who thinks that her father is obnoxious”. What if her father is really obnoxious, is that a sin to think so if it’s the truth.

    “I find a girl who is humble and has a modest character more charming..” What is humility for christian men? is that beiing “soft spoken” and self effacing?

    ” A girl should dress modestly because it honors both her future husband and the guys around her”. Please, can you support that with scriptures? Because I thought we were supposed to dress modestly to honor God.

    Once again, we have the definition of the “perfect christian girl”, who has all her stuff together, her spirituality, her modesty, her character… But this girl doesn’t exist. And as a christian girl I’m getting tired to be compared to a fantasy, to a mirage that most guys won’t marry any way.

    My advice to christian boys is look at yourself, look at your failures, look at your sins; because you will marry a human being just like you.

    • Sara Johns

      Though there are some points in this article I agree with, I think the boy they based it on is a little immature and judgmental. Perfect just does not exist in humanity, outside of Jesus.

      As a young woman of 23, I honor my parents by listening to their opinions but ultimately it is my responsibility to make the right choices in my life. If I do not agree with my father that does not make me any less of a Christian, or a good wife prospect. I am not at all a feminist, but women should be encouraged to live their life for God and not dictated to by men, who are also human. We should live by our convictions that are backed up by scripture, not two hundred years of men saying they know what’s best and that’s the end of it.

      I want to get married one day, and I pray that I am blessed with the opportunity, but until that day comes I will live my life, doing my best to honor God in all my decisions. Doing that alone is enough without thinking about a future husband when, if he exists, most likely is doing the same thing.