Summer Book Club: Earning Trust (and Gaining Freedom)

From the LYWB Blog Team: Hey, girls! We’ve been studying Family: How to Love Yours (and Help Them Like You Back) by Jessie Minassian this summer! We simply love this resource—its pages are packed with biblical truth and practical wisdom to help you love the members of your family well. Because loving and serving our families brings glory to God! Even if you don’t have a copy of the book, we hope you’ll keep watching Jessie’s vlogs every week and joining the discussion. PS: Every week, we’re giving away a copy of Family!

In chapter five of Family, we discovered the unexpected joys of “limited freedom” and six tried-and-true tips for earning your parents’ trust.

(Not related to the chapter, but also true: The location for this shoot is called “Aspen Hollow,” and I want to become a tree nymph and live there always.)

So what’s “limited freedom,” and why is it actually intended for our good? Let’s take a look:

Like I mentioned in the vlog, you’ll find my six tips for earning your parents’ trust on pages 90–95 in the book. Here’s a quick peek at the tips to whet your appetite:

  1. Be smart.
  2. Be open.
  3. Be considerate.
  4. Tell the truth.
  5. Be respectful.
  6. Be patient.

And you can also take my “Can I Be Trusted?” quiz on pages 215–217, or you can download it here.

As girls who want to grow to be more like Jesus, let’s add “limited freedom” to our foundation. Let’s be okay with putting aside our rights, wants, and privileges for the sake of obeying God.

As fun as it is to make your own decisions—and you’d best believe it’s a whole barrel of fun!—for the sake of holiness and the good of others, I hope you’ll choose to limit your ability to do, be, love, and buy what you want to. ’Cause that’s where true freedom is found (p. 96).

Join the discussion in the comments below, where we’re answering this application question: Have your parents ever told you that you couldn’t go somewhere you wanted to go and, in the end, their decision kept you from getting hurt?

Chapter 6, “Becoming the Best Big Sister,” is next! I’ll see you again soon for another installment of our Summer Book Club!

Log on to the giveaway widget, and answer the discussion question for a chance to win a copy of our Summer Book Club pick, Family: How to Love Yours (and Help Them Like You Back).

You can also peruse our blog archives to find more wisdom on earning your parents’ trust! Check these out:

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About Author

Jessie Minassian

Jessie Minassian is a speaker, blogger, and the author of ten books and Bible studies, including Crushed, Unashamed, and Backwards Beauty. She is the "resident big sis" at, a Q&A website for teen girls. Her work for teens and their parents has been featured internationally through outlets such as Focus on the Family, Parenting Today’s Teens, She Reads Truth, Axis, Revive Our Hearts and YouthWorker Journal. She and her husband live and serve at Hume Lake Christian Camps in California, and have two daughters.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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  • T

    I don’t remember exactly ever asking to go anywhere that my parents wouldn’t be with me…(yet) I know it will come one day, but so far I’ve enjoyed my parents being involved because I’m naturally kind of shy and it would be out of my comfort zone to be alone without somebody I know with me…. (I know that’s a bad comfort zone) thanks for the post!

  • hannah

    not that I remember but it will happen i’m sure

  • Rachel Lee

    i remember my mom told me to not wear flats to my waitress job. she told me to change gym shoes and we were already in the car and i didn’t want to go all the way back in the house but i still went and changed my shoes. that really saved me from tripping and slipping as i delivered food to tables at my job

  • Erika

    About my parents telling me not to do something I wanted to and then I was better off for it… Not that I remember. However as I read the quiz “Can I Be Trusted” I realized something you mentioned that I don’t think we often think about, especially because our parents are so grown-up and mature, but they have feelings, and we can hurt them! It might sound silly but I haven’t really thought about it. My parents are hurt when they find out I’ve been lying to them, or when I’m rude to them or disrespect or disobey them! And only because they love me so much! I’m going to try to be more considerate of them as just fellow human beings with feelings, and thank them for their love for me and my siblings.

  • Hannah B

    I can’t remember a situation like that but there are times I’ve been glad I didn’t go some where.

  • Rebecca

    Yes! The world needs more literature and trusted speakers speaking about keeping families together! <3

  • Mary Harris

    Yes, there was a situation that I can clearly remember where I’m SO thankful I obeyed my parents. I was 15 at the time this happened. My family and I were visiting friends, and my Mom and Dad were feeling tired and decided to leave early. They asked me to come along with them. I was disappointed to leave my friends, but and just said, “Sure I’ll go”. My older siblings got home a few hours later, and told me all the young people had taken a walk and were in trouble for some foolish things that had been said and done. I knew I would have been on that walk if I hadn’t left early!
    I’m just so thankful to Jesus for giving me that lesson: blessing comes through obedience. Now that I’m older(21), I’m learning to obey my heavenly Father in the same ways I used to obey Mom and Dad. Now, when God says “No” to plans or wishes of mine, I’m learning to trust that He is always doing what is best for me – even when it hurts and is very disappointing. He is ALWAYS working all(even the little things) things together for my good. He is so good and faithful!

  • MidnightCity

    I can say that I cannot remember being in this situation. However, I am sure that there were times that I just didn’t see from my limited perspective.

  • talia

    I cannot remember being in this situation. However, I am sure that there were times that this may have happened.

  • Rachel Ward

    Thank you for taking your time to teach us, Ms. Jessie! Trust is a very important thing for sure!

  • Sarah Bean

    I am not always happy with my parents decisions. I have wanted to go many places where my parents wouldn’t let me go. For example: I was invited to go to Las Vegas with a husband and wife and their three children. Their parents wanted me to come with them so I could help with the kids. I was so excited! I have never been to Las Vegas. It was a great opportunity, but as you can guess my parents said no. Las Vegas isn’t the best place for a Christian. Some might disagree, but I’ve only known the couple and their kids for a little over a year. So in the end it probably was better I didn’t go. Thanks for this blog!