Summer Book Club: The Family Feud

From the LYWB Blog Team: Can you believe it’s already August?! All summer long we’ve been studying Family: How to Love Yours (and Help Them Like You Back) by Jessie Minassian together. If you haven’t gotten a copy yet, we totally think you should! There’s wisdom in those pages! Get your copy here.

This week in chapter eight, “The Family Feud,” we learned how to have a good, clean fight—in other words, how to solve conflict in productive ways instead of metaphorically dismembering our family members.

As followers of Jesus, we know there’s a better way to live than to just sit in our conflict, frustration, and hurt. It takes effort, time, and the Holy Spirit’s help, but it is possible to have a disagreement without destroying the bonds of a family (p. 143).

Remember, if God wants to use our families to make us more like Jesus, then a conflict is like the “big game,” where you get to see if all your hard work (Bible study, prayer, and so on) has actually made you a better player. I can’t think of a better (or harder!) situation to show patience, honor, and selflessness than in the middle of a conflict. And that’s exactly why it’s worth working on.

In the comments, we’re discussing this application question: Have you ever had a fight with a family member that actually accomplished something? Do you think it’s possible?

And here a few more questions to ponder:

  • How do arguments in your family usually end? How do you wish they’d end?
  • Taking an honest look at the way you act and the words you say during an argument, would you consider yourself part of the problem or part of the solution?

Chapter nine, “Daddy’s Little Girl,” is up next! I can’t wait to unpack that chapter with you next week!

Don’t forget to enter this week’s giveaway! Log on to the widget below for a chance to win a copy of Family!

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About Author

Jessie Minassian

Jessie Minassian is a speaker, blogger, and the author of ten books and Bible studies, including Crushed, Unashamed, and Backwards Beauty. She is the "resident big sis" at LifeLoveandGod.com, a Q&A website for teen girls. Her work for teens and their parents has been featured internationally through outlets such as Focus on the Family, Parenting Today’s Teens, She Reads Truth, Axis, Revive Our Hearts and YouthWorker Journal. She and her husband live and serve at Hume Lake Christian Camps in California, and have two daughters.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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  • Rachel Ward

    Thank you for helping us understand this important issue!! I think that arguments, if done fairly, can help us solve issues. I will keep your advice in mind today!

  • hannah

    This chapter hit home I used to fight with my mom every day and it always ended with us both screaming and upset. I then found out why I wanted to control every thing insted ofmlet her be the mom so I prayed and it stared getting better now we only fight once or twice a week.

    • So glad to hear you and your mom are getting along better! Keep practicing those tips for a “good, clean fight.” 😉

  • Cassidy Watson

    My brother and I often get into fights about being in each other’s space, but when my mom helps us resolve them, these arguments helps learn about traps ring one another’s space and loving each other. So, I definitely think that it’s possible for an argument to accomplish something!! Thank you so much for discussing this topic!!

  • TLC

    All of the chapters in this book are very helpful! Thanks Mrs Minassian!❤❤❤❤

  • Erika

    Fights usually lead to nothing. Everyone is angry and probably sinning. It’s still so easy to start though. We need God’s help to keep the peace in a family. “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

    • hannah

      This is such a good verse thanks for sharing!

  • A

    A lot of times, arguments don’t make anything better. I often think that they make things worse especially when things are said in the heat of the moment that you regret later.

    • hannah

      Vary true

  • SD

    Very helpful video and chapter! Fighting is all too common in our household. It becomes very frustrating when the siblings don’t get along and our parents either don’t deal with the issue right away or they punish everyone in hopes to fix the problem. Keeping emotions under control is a good point! Thank you for the practical advice and suggestions!! This is a great study!!!

  • Kelli

    I know from personal experiences that fighting gets you nowhere instead it leaves you with regrets and feeling horrible. When I am faced with a unpleasant situation I have to asked for God’s grace to keep my emotions quiet! It’s not easy but with God anything is possible!

  • hannah

    Who won the book?

    • Rachel W.

      Ariele D. won the book! Congratulations, Ariele!!