When Your Parents Say NO

When your parents say no . . . it’s tough!

We’ve been talking about prom this month on the blog, and I wouldn’t be surprised if many of your parents have said no to prom. Mine did.
girl mad at parents
Actually, homecoming came before prom at my high school. My freshman year, I was asked to the homecoming dance by seven guys. (Don’t be too impressed-it was a small school, and there weren’t a ton of girls.) On top of that, I was voted freshman attendant for the homecoming court. Sounds like any girl’s dream come true, right?

But that year I said no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Eight times.

See, my parents took 1 Corinthians 7:1 quite literally: “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” They also didn’t approve of the music that we’d be dancing to. So I didn’t have a choice. That year I went to Hometown Buffet with my family on homecoming night. Sound like the pits? At the time, it was. I wrote in my journal, “You don’t know how BAD I want to go.” Shortly after that, I wrote about a different issue:

Agghh! I’m so SICK of this. I’m sick and tired of not being able to do what I want to do . . . I want to do everything that’s totally normal to others. But then mom and dad step in. No NO NO NO NO NO. You get the point . . . I know they’re trying to do what they think is best. That’s great, but this is one area I DEFINITELY don’t agree with.

Can you relate? Are your parents saying no when everyone else’s parents are saying yes? If so, I know how you feel. It’s hard stuff. But as LYWB co-author Nancy Leigh DeMoss often says, you’re not responsible for others’ actions (including your parents), but you ARE responsible for yours.

Your parents will answer to God for the way they parented. But you will answer to God, too, for how you responded to your parents’ decisions. It’s a big deal to Him!

They are . . . disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them (Rom. 1:29–32, emphasis added).

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good (2 Tim. 3:1–3, emphasis added).

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Ex. 20:12).

When my parents kept telling me no as a teen, I wrote out these lyrics in my journal from a song titled “This Too Shall Pass.” And you know what? It did pass! While I never did get to go to a high school dance, I don’t mind one bit now that I’m on the other side of high school. In fact, years later, I’m so grateful as I look back and see the ways God protected me at the time.

Whether your parents are saying no to prom or to the music you want to listen to or to that cute outfit you want to buy . . . know that this too shall pass. Before you know it, you’ll be out on your own making your own decisions. I promise!

But now . . . now is the only chance you have to honor your father and your mother in this season-even when you do not agree with their decisions.

So lean into God and watch Him give you everything you need to honor your parents-and then watch Him reward your efforts. I’m rooting for you, girl!

This Too Shall Pass
(sung by Yolanda Adams; written by Connie Harrington & Ty Lacy)

In the middle of the turbulence surrounding you
These trying times that are so hard to endure
In the middle of what seems to be your darkest hour
Hold fast your heart and be assured

This too shall pass, like every night that’s come before it
He’ll never give you more than you can bear
This too shall pass, so in this thought you be comforted
For it’s in His hands, this too shall pass, oh yes

The Father knows the tears you cry before they fall
He feels your pain, His heart and yours are one
The Father knows that sorrow’s heavy chains are strong
But with His strength, you’ll overcome

This too shall pass, like every night that’s come before it
He’ll never give you more than you can bear
This too shall pass, so in this thought you be comforted
For it’s in His hands, this too shall pass

So set your eyes, set them on the mountain
And lift your hands up to the sky
And let His arms of love surround you
Let Him take you to the other side

This too shall pass, like every night that’s come before it
He’ll never give you more than you can bear
This too shall pass, so in this thought you be comforted
For it’s in His hands, this too shall pass

About Author

Paula Marsteller

Paula no longer tries to catch guys' attention by swallowing live goldfish, arm wrestling, and jumping down flights of stairs. (She's married to a wonderful man now!) She spends her days caring for her son, Iren, and writing for Revive Our Hearts. She's the author of Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom, and she and her family live in New York.

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